Tales from the Drama King

Today an ordinary daddy long leg spider was called an arachnid.
If you have a cut your limb is sure to fall off or you are going to bleed to death.
Tomatoes are poison! Don't eat anything that is called a "Veggie" "Vegetable" or if it grows from a "Garden".
When it rains there will be a tornado. Even though we live in Connecticut and not the mid-west.
Being asked to clean a room is torture. The mess can be made but full out spasms on the floor will happen if it is picked up.
There are only 3 channels on the television - Disney, Nick, and Cartoon Network. Watching anything else is like eating a "vegetable".
Questions are to be asked every minute of everyday and the same one several times a day.
Reading is great because it's like seeing into someones mind. You can figure out if mom is buying cookies or if she is secretly plotting something.

There should only be one thing someone worships and that is a computer.
There are magical animals out the window - specifically hound dogs that like to play together - this has nothing to do with the fact that a pet is wanted but mom HATES cats and this is why this will never happen - even owning a dog.
If you eat your food really fast you will not choke but you will get seconds only because no one in the house can eat as fast as you - it's even better if you can eat so fast mom hasn't had a chance to sit down or get a plate yet.

The word bejesus is funny - so is farting, puking, smells, and no pants.
Make sure to hop, skip, and jump on any furniture - coffee table, couches, beds, nothing is excluded.
Hearing a noise will get you out of bedtime 3 times but don't try it a 4th.
Make sure you are the last one to say something. An example is if you ask for something to be explained, after the explanation continue with your own explanation.
Flushing a toilet will cause it to overflow, not that this has ever happened but you know it will.
Everyone wants to hear about video games just start telling them about it - including the automated captain that likes to call the house phone.
When something happens no matter what it is make sure to yell. This is the only tone you have.

If any of this sounds familiar then you have a Drama King. In our house we call him Damien and we love him so. He keeps things interesting. He still lets you hug and kiss him, he still likes bedtime stories, and he still misses you when you are away even for a second.